I Need You To Believe
by Auror-007
Summary: a One-Shot based on the mind-meld scene in "Turnabout Intruder". SLASH.


**Feedback/Reviews/ConCrit welcome. XD**

**Disclaimer: Kirk, Spock, and all things Star Trek sadly do not belong to me.**

"…Help me get back now." Spock wanted to believe this was the truth. But logic told him that the person in front of him was Dr. Janice Lester, and not the Captain, as she so claimed. There was no substantial evidence to support it, and her anecdotes could have easily been obtained through access to ship records.

Jim pleaded for Spock to believe him, to understand. He remembered a similar time he had needed to prove himself to Spock. It was a memory that only he and Spock would know. Jim had a plan. "You are closer to the Captain than anyone in the universe." He said, and Spock froze. "You know his thoughts. What does your telepathic mind tell you now?"

After a moment of silent debate, Spock carefully placed his fingers on Janice Lester's face, but as his mind reached out, it wasn't the doctor's thoughts he experienced.

**_The starboard observation deck's lights were at forty percent, but when Jim's eyes finally adjusted to the dim lighting, he saw what he expected to find: his first officer, standing at attention -even though he was completely alone- with his hands behind his back, staring out the large window into star-sprinkled space. He didn't look over at the Captain, but Jim knew that Spock was fully aware he was there. He could tell by the way Spock's hands clasped together a little more tightly, his shoulders tensed just enough that if Jim didn't know the Vulcan so well, he wouldn't have noticed._**

**"_Spock?"_**

**"_Captain, is there something I can do for you?" Spock turned only his head to look at Jim._**

**"_We aren't on duty, Spock, call me Jim." His request was met with silence. "Are we going to talk about this, Spock?"_**

**"_If you are talking about my previous condition and the events surrounding it, there is nothing to discuss, Captain… Jim. The situation has been remedied, and everything I have told you about Pon Farr and what happened on the planet is the truth."_**

**"_I wouldn't presume to doubt it, Spock. But you know as well as I do that I'm talking about what you haven't told me, what happened before we beamed down to Vulcan. What we're both pretending not- "_**

**"_Jim, please…" Jim noted the barely detectable desperation in Spock's voice, and any other time, he would have complied with Spock's desire for privacy, but not now. _**

**_Not with this. Not when _they_ were on the line. So Jim pushed a button on the door, and it closed, sealing them in the room. As he got closer to Spock, the Vulcan became increasingly tense._**

**"_Why didn't you tell me?" At these words Spock raised a quizzical brow. It was a question he was not expecting, but he answered promptly anyway._**

**"_I assumed that my reasons were obvious, Jim. I am a Vulcan. I do not pretend to be free of emotion, but I do not display them. Yet, as I am part human, it is difficult for me. I did not wish to compromise our friendship, as I was sure you…" Spock, previously speaking to the floor, looked up at Jim. The pleading look in his eyes made his entire expression, which was, of course, one of apathy, seem fragile…as though it would break at any moment and his even, collected manner would be lost. Spock silently begged Jim not to discuss it anymore, and at the same time to understand those very things he refused to speak. _**

**_Jim watched the Vulcan for a moment, unsure if he should press any further…Spock was on the verge of breaking, and it being only 3 days since he had endured Pon Farr, Jim didn't want to humiliate him any further. But this was important. _**

**_Apparently, Spock took Jim's silent contemplation as a demand to elaborate, which he began to do with a sigh. "I assumed that you did not-" Jim held up his hand to let Spock know he didn't have to continue. At that moment, Jim understood what Spock had not wanted to say._**

**_Spock was afraid, afraid of letting his human side feel something so strong it could penetrate through the stoic and logical Vulcan ways he'd learned since birth. Afraid, also, and more importantly, that Jim Kirk did not love him back._**

**"_You should have known better, Spock," Jim smiled, his voice became softer, quieter. He took Spock's hand in his own, gripping the Vulcan's wrist so he could not pull away, and when Spock didn't struggle, Jim lifted the hand to his face. "Let me prove it. What does your telepathic mind tell you?" Spock adjusted his fingers to initiate the meld, and he was met with a flood of memories…_**

_…His breath hitched as he felt his first officer's hands offer relief from the kink he'd claimed to have in his back, his heart beat quicker, louder. Surely, the entire deck could hear it. "Dig it in there Mr. Sp -" …and the smug inner smile in Spock's eyes when he stepped forward to reveal that it was not he who had been massaging Jim. Jim struggled to hide the disappointment in his voice as he dismissed the yeoman behind him…_

_…He watched as Spock writhed with pain in his bed. "Let me help," his first officer requested with difficulty. Jim's heart sank… Let me help. It was Spock was the one who needed help now, and it was killing Jim that he couldn't do a damned thing about it… what if Spock died? What would he do? He needed Spock…_

_…There was no chance that the Galileo, or it's crew, had made it off the planet…no way the had survived. However Jim could not accept that…and when he saw the flare…there was a chance…beaming them aboard was the most nerve-wrecking 30 seconds of his life, but knowing his crew was safe was beyond worth it…knowing he was safe. This was the moment Jim Kirk realized exactly what Spock was to him…  
_

_…"Jim!" It was possibly the first time Spock had ever smiled, at least openly. It only lasted a fraction of a second, but it was there, and it was his. He smiled back at Spock, trying to silently convey how much he appreciated what felt to Jim like a rare, priceless gift…_

**_Spock brought his hand away from Jim's face an inch, breaking the meld. It took him a moment to catch his breath. Jim was staring at him, half expecting, half still recovering from the emotional transference. A wide grin broke onto his face. He stepped closer to Spock, so close he could feel Spock's breathe brush against his face."_**

**"_Well?"_**

**"_What, Jim?"_**

**"_I just showed you the most intimate memories I have, and _that's_ all you can say?" Spock remained silent, although the corner of his lip twitched upward as Jim leaned forward and closed the remaining gap between Spock's lips and his own. Spock pulled him closer; every inch of their bodies touched._**

**_Every nerve ending on Jim's body felt like a live wire, as though electricity was winding itself through his veins. He reflexively trailed down the Vulcan's shoulders and torso, found Spock's hands. Jim fingertips fluttered lightly over the length of Spock's slender fingers. This pulled a quiet, guttural moan from Spock's throat. He freed one of his hands and placed it on the back of Jim's head, lacing his fingers through the thick, honey brown hair, deepening the kiss and allowing them both to better explore the other's mouth. Jim leaned into Spock, forcing him back against the wall._**

**_When Spock finally pulled away from him, Jim's eyes lingered closed, his lips still slightly parted and tingling, breath staggered, unwilling to let the moment go. Finally Jim opened his eyes to look at Spock, who of course was not smiling, but his breathing was just as uneven, his lips just as desperate to return to Jim's._**

**_Jim brought his face back to Spock's so that their foreheads touched and their breath intertwined. Spock responded by allowing his hands to trail up from Jim's back to his shoulders and finally to cup the sides of his face._**

**"_T'hy'la." Spock whispered, and Jim did not know what the word meant, but he knew Spock meant it for him, only him, and that's all he needed to know._**

Spock broke the meld and again stared at the face of Janice Lester, but now he was certain that everything that made Jim himself was inside.

"I believe you," He said simply. He looked at Dr. Lester and her blue eyes gazed back in subtle inquiry; Jim's silent question. And as Spock calculated exactly how they were to escape the brig, he gazed back with an equally silent promise; that he would do everything in his power to bring his T'hy'la back.


End file.
